The Grabblog

March 28, 2003 was a banner day for Tremors fans. It was the premiere of the TV Series, with the further adventures of Burt Gummer, El Blanco and the townsfolk of Perfection, on the Scifi Channel.

Originally intended as a companion for Scifi's highly successful Farscape series, Tremors instead found itself replacing the far more expensive series, much to the seethign anger of loyal Farscape fans- who failed to recognize that production had begun on Tremors the Series long before Scifi axed Farscape.

In total, 13 episodes were produced, with the network holding off on any further episodes until a determination was made as to what the ratings were going to be. And, while Tremors broke a new record for scifi series premieres, the demographic was under what Scifi had wanted.

Worse, the Scifi Channel decided to air the series out of order, choosing Episode 6/"Ghost Dance" to air the same night as the pilot episode, and playing the second episode, "Shriek and Destroy" as the final episode. This disrupted a storyline in which episodes built upon one another, e.g. Tyler being allowed to have a moonlight tour after the events of Episode 2.

The Scifi Channel further confused the issue by numbering the episodes on their website according to their production number;

http://www.scifi.com/tremors/episodes/season1/02_shriekdestroy.html

During a planned hiatus, the cast and crew left production in Rosarito, Mexico, near Fox's Baja Peninsula studios (where Titanic had been filmed) without any idea as to whether or not the show would be renewed.

Unfortunately, word soon came that show was not being renewed. August 8, 2003 was the air date for the final episode. The series was shown in reruns throughout 2004, then vanished from view until 2007.

In 2007, the show briefly was part of NBC's iTunes downloadable lineup. The show then appeared on Hulu.com and as part of Amazon's Unbox series of downloadable programs.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000WUAZZI/qid=1002567376/sr=1-4/figuresoffort-20/103-5864497-3816610



February 18, 2008, it was announced the show is rumored to be scheduled for a release on DVD, July 22, 2008 (www.tvshowsondvd.com). However, an inquiry to series producer (and owner) S.S. Wilson proved less than hopeful: Stampede Productions was unable to confirm any such release schedule.


So, is Tremors really done? And why did the show fail?

In 2004, Tremors 4 was released as a direct to video film. This western prequel was sold at retailers such as Walmart and Circuit City. Unfortunately, the release came around the same time that both retailers decided future direct-to-video releases were not for them.

Another Universal blunder the same year was Van Helsing the Stephen Sommers homage to classic Universal monster films. Despite being successful as a rental and DVD purchase, the film fell far short of the box office figures Universal was hoping for.

So, despite a script being written for Tremors 5, as confirmed by Stampede Productions, Universal apparently decided monsters were not for them.

Over the next few weeks, this site will offer a comprehensive review of each episode of the series. Because that's all we may ever get.

Reconstructing the old Tremors: The Series Webpage from Internet Archives...

PART 7:

Department of the Interior Report on Graboids

(The following is part 2 of 6 of a detailed report appearing on the original site as though it had been written by the DOI. Editor's Note: For the purpose of this website, the term "Assblaster" has been replaced with "Blaster" and some headings and terms had to be replaced as they were not fully recovered)


THE GRABOID/SHRIEKER/BLASTER LIFECYCLE

SECTION 2- EXTERNAL MORPHOLOGY

The Graboid is a worm-shaped creature approximately 10 meters long and more than two meters across at its widest diameter. An adult specimen weighs approximately 10 to 20 tons, which makes it the largest land (or subterranean) animal on Earth.

The Graboid displays linear orientation (its head is different from its tail), and dorsal/ventral orientation (the top of its head is different from the underside). It may also exhibit bilateral symmetry, but determining this conclusively will require a more detailed examination of multiple specimens.

The Graboid's body is covered with a dense, leathery carapace. Twisting spines or spikes up to several inches long protrude in irregular rows, forming rings around the Graboid's tubular body.
The Graboid appears to lack limbs or other significant external features apart from its head.This head consists of an armored or plated external sheath, under which opens a three-part jaw.

Concealed within the mouth are three tentacles, which can extend several dozen feet beyond the Graboid's head to seize prey. Each tentacle appears to be bifurcated at its extremity, creating a biting jaw with sharp "teeth." This extremity resembles a serpent's head due to horn-like protrusions on one side of the bifurcation.

The armored jaw sections and the tentacles all seem designed to funnel prey into the animal's central gullet.

The Graboid has been documented to swallow large objects whole (for example, in 2001, one specimen swallowed an entire 50-gallon metal drum containing noted Graboid-hunter Burt Gummer). This may indicate that the Graboid lacks a rigid jaw structure. More likely, it seems to indicate that the animal's mouth is an elastic, sphincterlike structure, perhaps lined with shearing and cutting teeth.

If the animal does have a rigid jaw structure, then it can likely unhinge its jaw (as can many species of snake) in order to swallow prey as large as humans and cattle.

The Graboid's sensory abilities are well-adapted to its underground environs. It has no external eyes, and therefore, presumably, no vision. It does possess remarkable hearing, or at least remarkable sensitivity to ground vibrations: It tracks prey by following noise and movement. (Whether this is a function of sensitive hearing or merely a sensitivity to vibrations remains unclear.)

Behaviorally, the Graboid is carnivorous. It is essentially an ambush predator like a tiger, preferring to covertly stalk its prey. That said, most adult Graboids can move swiftly through loose soil, faster than a human can run.

Although Graboids cannot move through solid rock, they can sense the vibrations of prey that has sought shelter on a large boulder or vehicle, or on an artificial structure such as a house.When possible, a Graboid will rapidly excavate the soil from beneath such a barrier, causing it to sink into, or closer to the ground, where the Graboid can attack with its three tentacles.

In cases where such an assault is not possible, the Graboid has demonstrated a remarkable patience, lying in wait for its trapped prey. There are several documented accounts in Perfection Valley of individuals who died of exposure, thirst or starvation while perched on rock islands or atop utility poles, rather than face death in the maw of a Graboid.

Furthermore, the Graboid seems to be highly intelligent. It appears to possess memory; it learns from its experiences. Confronted with problems, it will try to solve them. And it usually will not be fooled more than once by the same deception.

Observers have documented several instances of Graboids traveling together, revealing a degree of socialization. They appear to act cooperatively for hunting, and may be able to communicate on some level (perhaps through subsonic vibrations, as elephants are known to do).

All these factors combine to make the Graboid a startlingly sophisticated creature, despite its primitive appearance.

The Graboid worm has been known, on occasion, to cannibalize its cousin species, Shriekers and AssBlasters. However, the documented incidents involved a limited degree of deception by human observers, so it is not known whether the Graboid normally preys on Shriekers and Blasters.

SHRIEKERS
At the end of its life cycle, a Graboid dies in order to spawn three to six Shriekers. This might be a factor of natural aging, occurring when the creature reaches a certain point in its life span. Alternatively, it might result after a Graboid devours a sufficient amount of prey, or it might be triggered by some other internal metabolic or external environmental cue. (El Blanco, the federally protected "Great White Graboid" of Perfection Valley, is an exception. This albino specimen of the species appears to be incapable of generating Shriekers, though we have not yet been able to determine why.)

Shriekers are not a metamorphosed form of the parent Graboid. Rather, it appears that Shriekers grow within the Graboid and eventually burst out, killing the parent creature.

The Shrieker is only about two meters in length, but its body shape and head structure are similar to the Graboid's. It is not clear whether the Shrieker possesses mouth tentacles for feeding as the Graboid does. It might be that its mouth tentacles are present but vestigial.

The most striking difference between the Shrieker and its predecessor in the Graboid life cycle is that the Shrieker perches on two legs, allowing it to walk and run. These legs appear to be articulated with three joints, and they end in three-clawed feet.

When not on the attack, Shriekers tend to move from place to place in spurts. They move, stop and scan, then move again. When traveling in this mode they make short, low-register grunting noises.

According to available evidence, the Shrieker's most remarkable feature is that it can reproduce asexually by growing offspring within its mouth cavity.

Once born or disgorged, an offspring is smaller than its parent but quickly grows to full size. A Shrieker, by consuming enough food, can multiply itself repeatedly; consequently, an initial population of three to six individuals can rapidly multiply into dozens.

A Shrieker's primary sensory apparatus is thermal. Using a natural heat sensor mounted on top of its carapace, a Shrieker can "see" its environment and search for the specific heat signatures of its prey.

When no heat sources are detected, these omnivores search for food by dragging their sensitive tongues along the ground. This enables them to find edible flora and fauna whose temperatures would otherwise blend into the ambient.

The Shrieker is named, however, for the high-pitched noises it makes. Because Shriekers do not appear to have auditory nerves, they cannot hear the piercing sounds they make. Rather, the creatures emit the shriek while signaling each other via a rush of heat emitted from their fleshy mouths. This blast of thermal radiation alerts other Shriekers to the presence of food.

Current evidence indicates that Shriekers do not open their mouths wide except when attacking or signaling.

Shriekers appear to be social; they move in flocks and have not been observed to prey upon one another.

There is evidence suggesting a dominance hierarchy among Shriekers, as well as evidence of learning behavior. These traits, coupled with their reproductive ability and rapid locomotion, make them relentless predators.

BLASTERS
When a Shrieker experiences a biological, hormonal or environmental cue (the exact trigger is unknown), it sheds its outer husks in much the same manner that a snake sheds its skin. The resulting morphological variation is known colloquially as a "Blaster," the third (and possibly final) stage in the Graboid life cycle.

Blasters exhibit the same type of carapace and hinged triple jaw found in both the Graboid and the Shrieker forms, except that on the Blaster these structures are more slender and elongated. The presence of mouth tentacles seems unlikely, but remains unconfirmed.

The Blaster has several traits in common with the Shrieker. It possesses two three-toed legs that allow it to walk, run and jump. Its overall body plan and shape is similar to a Shrieker's, except that the Blaster is longer and more fragile in appearance. In addition, it appears to share the Shrieker's thermal-sensory abilities.

Like Shriekers they are deaf and, when they spot food, they open their beaks wide to release a loud, heat-emitting shriek to signal other Blasters to join the hunt.

On the ground, they hunt in a manner similar to that of Shriekers, making the same kinds of low, grunting noises as they pursue their endless quest for food. Most significant, the Blaster has three unique anatomical peculiarities not found in Shriekers or Graboids.

First, the Blaster has wings. These are not true wings in the sense of being capable of self-powered flight; they do not resemble birds' or bats' wings (which are modified limbs). By contrast, the musculature behind a Blaster's wings is fairly crude. There is no indication that the wings are capable of beating or moving quickly enough to provide lift, or that the wing muscles are well-developed enough to enable sustained flight.

Also, though winged, Blasters spend the majority of their time on the ground. Instead, a Blaster's wings consist of a membrane of skin suspended between a series of spines radiating straight out from the body. The wings appear to consist of three structures — equivalent to a left wing, a right wing and a fan tail. Blaster wings most closely resemble the "wings" of the flying lizard Draco — modified ribs that the lizard unfurls in order to glide. Blaster wing struts are most likely modifications of the Graboid skin spikes.

The Blaster controls its glides by flexing, lifting, lowering and even folding these structures, yielding remarkably precise flight maneuvers. Because its wings cannot power its flight, the Blaster has developed its second unique anatomical aspect: a biological rocket.

In the act which has inspired its off-color but highly descriptive name, the Blaster releases a propulsive force from its tail end. This fiery expulsion launches the creature skyward. At the apex of its ascent, the Blaster opens its wings and glides, sometimes for up to a mile or more.
A Blaster gives warning of impending take-off via a unique "windup," or revving-up sound.

Cephalopods use a variation on jet propulsion for locomotion, but the Blaster has evolved the trait to a radically higher level. This feature is not seen in either the Graboid or the Shrieker, but the remarkably high metabolisms of those forms suggest the early gestation of such a robust biology.

(We can only speculate on the specific mechanics of this ability; a more thorough examination will require a detailed autopsy of one or more intact Blaster specimens. Unfortunately, the Department of Defense has claimed first priority in the study of all such recovered subjects.)
The third trait that distinguishes the Blaster from its other Graboid forms is that the Blaster bears eggs. (A more detailed discussion of this can be found later in this report, in section 5.0 – EVOLUTION.)

Even more so than the Shrieker, the Blaster is highly verbal, uttering a wide variety of unique cries related to specific desires or reactions to particular stimuli. This strongly implies that, in addition to the Blaster's thermal sense, the Blaster possesses fully developed auditory senses.

Finally, as with the Shriekers, Blasters are ostensibly social animals, at least to the extent of not attacking or eating their siblings. So far, they have not exhibited coordinated hunting behavior.

The subterranean predators known as "Graboids," which ostensibly awakened in the late 20th century after a centuries-long slumber, are a lifeform unlike any other previously catalogued in Earth's genetic or fossil record.The first documented encounter with the species occurred in Perfection, Nev., in 1990. Graboid worms, which we have classified as Caederus americana, subsequently appeared in Mexico in 1996, and in Argentina and Nevada in 2001.

During the Mexico incident, a second Graboid species, called "Shriekers," was identified. This species has been classified as C. mexicana.

The second outbreak in Perfection revealed a morphological variant subspecies of Shriekers.

Nicknamed "AssBlasters" by the locals who first encountered it, its official name is C. mexicana combustus. Throughout this report there are references to "the Graboid species" or "the species" (plural). This generalized term should be understood to encompass the genus Caederus. The colloquial term "Graboid," when used alone, refers specifically to the wormlike subterranean predator C. americana.

The species' hostile behavior and high rate of reproduction have triggered concern within the Department of the Interior (DOI) and raised many troubling questions. Where do Graboids come from? How could creatures so huge and aggressive go unnoticed before 1990? Do their lack of a logical place in Earth's fossil record imply they are extraterrestrial in origin? Or do they represent a previously undiscovered branch on the evolutionary tree?

Are they intelligent? Are they sentient? Are they a true menace to humanity, or merely another animal curiosity to be studied with caution?

In an effort to expand our knowledge base about the species and their life cycles, the DOI conducted the Graboid Ecological Research Initiative, in accordance with Executive Order No. 4371.

The following report details our findings.

# posted by Troglodad @ 8:57 AM 0 comments

EL BLANCO
Every year, countless tourists pass through Perfection Valley, hoping to catch a glimpse of its most elusive underground denizen, El Blanco, a.k.a. "The Great White Graboid."A sterile albino Graboid, El Blanco poses no risk of metamorphosing into deadly Shriekers. Consequently, El Blanco enjoys protection under U.S. federal law as an endangered species. All of Perfection Valley has been declared his habitat — a kind of Precambrian wild-animal park.

That's not to say El Blanco is harmless, however. He has a talent for destroying cars, buildings and anything that wanders out into the desert. Fortunately, he is usually content to graze on wild animals such as coyotes. He sometimes treats himself to some of the local ranchers' domesticated cattle or sheep, but because he must negotiate a narrow canyon filled with "shallow alluvials" in order to reach the ranchers' plateau, such forays are infrequent. El Blanco can't travel through bedrock, so as the layers of loose soil get thinner, he becomes like a whale beached in shallow water. Strays who wander off the plateau, however, are fair game.

When he's eaten a lot, El Blanco sometimes semi-hibernates in the far north end of the valley, giving the locals a temporary break.

The mutual safety of El Blanco and the people of Perfection is overseen by Agent W.D. Twitchell, U.S. Department of the Interior. He's responsible for ensuring El Blanco's survival, as well as that of the local human population. If Twitchell decides life with El Blanco is too dangerous for either side, he has the authority to condemn the valley and evict the residents.Naturally, Twitchell keeps a close eye on Melvin Plug, who has more than once expressed a desire to rid the valley of El Blanco. If El Blanco were to become history, the valley's federally protected status would end, permitting Melvin to pursue his opportunistic real-estate schemes.

Graboids are extremely ancient (Precambrian) lifeforms. They date to a time when it was thought no vertebrate life existed on Earth.Rare throughout history, they were almost never captured in the fossil record. Kate White discovered the only known Graboid fossil. Rhonda LeBeck has now earned her Ph.D. and is the world's foremost authority on living Graboids. She sometimes returns to Perfection to study El Blanco.

The life cycle of the Graboids currently appears to be as follows:

A Graboid egg lays dormant for up to three centuries, or possibly even far longer.

A single Graboid worm hatches from each egg.

The newborn Graboid eats all manner of organic material and grows rapidly.

When the Graboid reaches maturity, it metamorphoses into approximately three to six bipedal Shriekers.

Shriekers reproduce hermaphroditically. Their ability to reproduce is limited only by their food supply. Their cycle of reproduction is very short, often being measured in hours.

Approximately 24 to 72 hours after spawning (during which, depending on food supply, an indeterminate number of parthenogenic reproductive cycles might have occurred) Shriekers metamorphose into AssBlasters. Each AssBlaster carries within its torso a single fertilized Graboid egg.

At some stage not yet observed or understood, an AssBlaster buries its Graboid egg in the Earth for gestation. It is unknown how long an AssBlaster can survive after relinquishing its Graboid egg.

Science now recognizes that there probably are eggs of this ancient but extremely rare lifeform buried all over the world, as evidenced by the Graboid appearances in Mexico and Argentina. Like the coelacanth, the animals simply went unrecorded throughout history.

Until now....

• "Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn't you?!"
• "I feel I was denied critical, need-to-know information."
• "And that's why we're at the top of the food chain!"
  
  

He is not actually a nut. He is, however, a gun nut.

"You have nothing to fear but fear itself — and running out of ammo," he has said. He can talk endlessly, and with first-hand experience, about any firearm from a CO2 paintball rifle to a .50 caliber anti-aircraft naval deck gun (a very effective tool for Shrieker eradication.) A hard-and-fast adherent to rules and regulations (his own, not the government's), Burt will never point a firearm at any human. Never. He's fanatical about gun safety.

After selflessly sacrificing his hilltop bunker home during the "AssBlaster incursion" a couple years ago, Burt has doggedly soldiered-on in his houseless basement (now covered with a Quonset hut, scrounged piece-by-piece from a nearby abandoned government facility.) It contains his indoor shooting range, safe room, emergency escape tunnel — and (in)famous gun wall. He has replenished only about 20 percent of his weapons. Painted gun silhouettes on the wall indicate the ones he hasn't yet replaced. The bunker is Burt's command center, from which he monitors the Valley on his laptop, via his infrared satellite downlink; checks for Graboid movement via seismo readings from his network of strategically placed geophones; and watches lonely hours of war documentaries on television. ("If you ask me, Patton, not Eisenhower, should've been President," he grouses.) He lives by his survivalist motto: "Doing what I can with what I've got." Often, it's Burt's uncanny talent for turning the most unlikely things into effective weapons that gets his neighbors out of a tough spot.

Underneath his gruff bluster, Burt really is a sensitive guy. Perhaps one day soon he will be ready to take faltering steps in answer to the call of his lonely heart. A secret he'd never want uncovered is his regular presence in survivalist chat rooms in search of someone who could give him what only his beloved ex-wife Heather could: patient support and an ability to load an HK-91 like nobody's business.

Jodi Chang takes Burt in stride and is even fond of him. Tyler Reed rolls with Burt's eccentricities. Rosalita Sanchez simply finds his overkill and paranoia odd. And ex-hippy Nancy Sterngood butts heads with Burt on almost every issue; she pokes holes in his arguments and tries to make him see reason. But for Burt there's always been "a little too much Summer of Love in that woman."


TYLER REED
(Played by Victor Browne)

Tyler Reed, the son of a hard-bitten Air Force colonel who oversees bomb runs on the nearby Nevada Test Site, is in his mid-to-late-20s. Less cowboy and more hot-rodder, Tyler looks good in his engineer's boots and jeans with rolled cuffs. He's got a thing for everything NASCAR.

Before coming to Perfection Valley, he was an aspiring driver working his way up the circuit. When he crashed his car and lost his sponsorship, he saw it was time for a career change. He bought a local business, Desert Jack's Graboid Tours. After all, he's seen CNN: Look how well Valentine McKee, Earl Basset and Grady Hoover made out running that ramshackle operation. Surely, there must be another fortune waiting to be made from Desert Jack's....

But for all Tyler's big dreams and street-rodding skills he's a remarkably easy-going guy. Too easy-going for Burt Gummer, who criticizes Tyler for being unprepared for most situations. However, the truth is Tyler's quick wits, athletic grace, and NASCAR-inspired driving will prove to be valuable survival skills — for himself and his neighbors.

Tyler considers Burt to be a neurotic eccentric, but he admires the guy's "whole gung-ho M.O." The two of them make an odd dynamic duo, whether safeguarding their valley, rescuing careless tourists, or taking an outside assignment. Their differences, particularly Tyler's tendency to ignore Burt's rigid S.O.P. (Standard Operating Procedure) constantly cause friction. Where Burt anxiously frets, Tyler rolls with it. Where Burt plans way ahead, Tyler makes it up on the spot. But, in reality, when Burt's outside his survivalist haven he's far less adept at dealing with the real world than is charming, savvy, streetwise Tyler.

Jodi Chang is attracted to Tyler but channels her feelings into organizing his life, which is fine by him. Tyler's attracted to Jodi, as well. He admires her practicality and reliability. She, of course, wants to be admired for more than that.

But fogging up Tyler's windshield is steamy Rosalita Sanchez. She's everything a guy could ever want, except for all the stuff only Jodi offers. In fact, Tyler soon has to admit that his all-time perfect woman is Jodi and Rosalita.

"If I could just get the whole deal in one package...." Tyler laments. "Yes, every man's dilemma," Burt sagely replies.

JODI CHANG
(Played by Lela Lee)

Overly organized Jodi was on the corporate fast-track in San Francisco until she discovered that she couldn't stand to work for anybody else. Facing her life's first big crisis, she bailed out to take over her late, eccentric Uncle Walter's general store. It's her chance to prove herself, and she dedicates her life to "growing the business of this theme-related retail outlet."

Jodi is as quirky as her hustler uncle ever was and not above playing any situation to her financial advantage. She runs a tab on everybody in Perfection; gets a finder's fee for any tourist she strong-arms onto Tyler Reed's tour jeep; negotiates for the valuable remains of whatever nasty creatures Burt Gummer and Tyler might destroy; manages Burt's survival school; and runs the online part of Nancy Sterngood's souvenir business.

Jodi's reliance on the Harvard Business School case-study approach to any situation contrasts with Tyler's instinctive, gut-level response to things. She's full of good business advice for him and gets jealous when he trumps her with an occasional, casually tossed-off brilliant idea, such as "Burt Gummer's Survival School."

And although she'd never admit it, Jodi's also jealous of Rosalita Sanchez, whom Tyler clearly finds pleasantly distracting.

Although Jodi is identified strongly with her store, she has a wealth of talents that she shares with her neighbors. She is experienced in fighting every form of Graboid mutation. She's fluent in Mandarin Chinese. She has extensive computer skills. And her business acumen has taught her to "follow the money" — a mantra that helps her spot the corporate crooks and small-time hustlers who frequently blow into the valley looking to get rich quick at the expense of the locals.

Although Jodi likes to think of her store as a "homey" place where she and her neighbors can gather for an occasional celebratory feast from her deli counter, no one dares touch a sandwich until she assures them it won't end up on their tab.

NANCY STERNGOOD
(Played by Marcia Strassman)

Artisan, ex-hippie and a lover of solitude and open spaces, Nancy Sterngood has capitalized on Perfection's dubious notoriety by creating ceramic Graboid hood ornaments, Shrieker ashtrays, Burt Gummer action figures, and AssBlaster paperweights, all of which she markets online with Jodi Chang's help.

Nancy's the one person in town not struggling to make ends meet. At peace with herself, she quotes the Dalai Lama, meditates and uses crystal energy to keep El Blanco away from her small house/studio. She generally acts as a calming influence by exercising a wise, trusting, Earth Mother yin to balance Burt's suspicious, over-reactive yang. Both Jodi and Rosalita Sanchez look up to Nancy for her calm reassurance — and because she's tough enough to stand up to Burt.

Besides the ever-present Graboid problem, Nancy's only other challenge is how to meet a nice, "fully actualized" guy when she lives in the middle of nowhere surrounded by man-eating predators.

ROSALITA SANCHEZ
(Played by Gladise Jimenez)

Rosalita Sanchez is not what one would call an optimist. This leggy, Hispanic ex-Vegas showgirl is cautious about getting her hopes up or making predictions. She has been disappointed too many times and hardened by bitter experience. As a beautiful twenty-something woman, she also has been hit on once too often; now she has a seriously defensive attitude, and local would-be romeo Tyler Reed has to tread carefully when he deals with her.

Rosalita has taken over the late Miguel's humble cattle ranch. We occasionally see the hired hand, Harlow Winnemuca, who helps out with the heavy lifting. But one has to wonder what Rosalita's doing here. What's she looking for in Perfection? Apparently, nothing. She is, in fact, trying to put something behind her, a dark past at which she will only obliquely hint. This mysterious quality makes her even more attractive to Tyler and unsettles Jodi Chang. As for straight-laced Burt Gummer, he's just plain baffled by her — especially when she reveals her street cred by touting the advantages of a Glock-9 over "that punk-ass Walther P-38."

Rosalita inserted herself into Perfection by claiming to be the late Miguel's cousin, and justified her move to the desert with the explanation that she needed "a lifestyle change." The truth is she, like the others, is here because it's the only place she can go. Unlike the locals, she remains one foot in, one foot out. She's urban, a native of East L.A., and feels out of place in this remote valley. But she's working hard to figure out things like fixing her own plumbing, avoiding rattlesnakes, and off-roading in her out-of-place Ford Mustang. Trying to make ends meet, she raises Miguel's dwindling herd of cattle with a "How To" book in one hand. A little overwhelmed by it all, she confesses she "was never comfortable around any mammal bigger than me, especially ones with horns."

Not sparing anyone from her attitude, she periodically vents at her helpless herd: "If I actually had a life, which I don't, I sure as hell wouldn't be out here baby-sitting you morons . "Rosalita dreams of a second chance; of a life lived the right way. Bent on self-improvement, she spends evenings taking college courses online. She is especially interested in psychology because she has "run into a whole lotta whacked-out people" in her life. She has the neophyte's tendency to enthusiastically offer an unsolicited Psych 101 analysis of any interpersonal situation. For instance, vis-a-vis Burt: "It's clear to me where all that gun stuff comes from. ... I mean, how long's it been since the guy was with a woman, right?"

Warring against her burgeoning enlightenment are her deeply rooted, ancestral superstitions: never put your handbag on the floor; never look at the new moon through a window; use only your left hand when handling something just touched by an evil person; etc. These are amusing quirks for her neighbors — until they present unexpected problems at the worst-possible moments.

Rosalita is impressed by Jodi's education and business sophistication, and relies on her for help with her studies. She's amused by Burt, which irks him to no end. And Tyler? She keeps him carefully at arm's length — except when she needs his help on her ranch.

W.D. TWITCHELL
(Played by Dean Norris)

W.D. Twitchell is a wiry, nervous man in his late forties. He is an agent of the U.S. Department of the Interior, assigned to monitor the Endangered Species Habitat that is Perfection Valley. He hates his job. Hates the desert. He carries a small, battery-operated fan when he makes his periodic inspections of Perfection's barren landscape. Sometimes he refuses even to get out of his air-conditioned government sedan, preferring instead to talk to people through a small gap in his tinted-glass window.

He's terrified of El Blanco — and any other creature he meets. But Twitchell hangs in there, looking forward to the promotion his superiors dangle as a carrot — a comfortable assignment in a much nicer spot, like Yosemite.

Twitchell has the authority to evict everyone from Perfection Valley should he decide their co-existence with El Blanco is just too dangerous — for them or for the albino Graboid. Though he can be affable, he's not above employing underhanded tactics if he thinks they might get him out of this gig and up the DOI ladder.

Twitchell would be much closer to realizing his dream (and lowering his stress level) had his boss not made him the point man on any investigations into possible Graboid activity outside Perfection Valley. Twitchell, realizing he needs expert help on such assignments, has struck an uneasy deal to subcontract the work to Burt Gummer. When Burt and his partner, Tyler Reed, go off to solve other people's monster-related problems, Twitchell occasionally will pop up to monitor the mayhem in Perfection and put a reassuring spin on the potentially bad public relations that surely will be caused by Shriekers running amok in the local shopping mall. Basically, Twitchell thinks the townsfolk should "give up" and go live in nice, suburban tract homes "like normal people."

MELVIN PLUG
(Played by Robert Jayne)

Melvin Plug, who became famous as Perfection's unhappiest teen-ager, has grown up into a slick, manipulative real-estate developer in nearby Bixby, Nev. Now the president of Melco, Inc., his dream is to turn Perfection Valley into, as Burt Gummer puts it, "another godless stretch of mind-numbing suburban sprawl." And all of it, Rosalita Sanchez correctly points out, "is a sublimation of his need to get even for his painful childhood."

Because the Valley's status as a federally protected area keeps him from the destiny he feels is his due, Melvin would love nothing more than to see El Blanco disappear. To this end he works, usually behind the scenes, to cleanse the future "Melville" of its problematic Graboid. But, as big a jerk as Melvin is, he would never knowingly threaten anyone's life. He will, however, never miss a chance to drive metaphorical wedges between Perfection's beleaguered townsfolk.

Reconstructing the old Tremors: The Series Webpage from Internet Archives...

Wow, it's been five whole years since the wonderful Tremors TV Series aired on the Scifi Channel.

March 28, 2003 just seems like only the other day- until I look at my kids and see how much they've grown. Heck, I only had one kid when Burt and the town launched into a series of 13 wonderful adventures.

In all that time we haven't seen anything else Tremors come along. No 5th movie, no toys (although we almost got a Burt action figure), no comic books, no novels, no nuthin'.

Depressing.

Worse, Tremors: The Series still isn't out on DVD. I can't believe that the Scifi Channel will put crap like "Attack of the Sabretooth" and "Lake Placid 2" on DVD, but we don't get Tremors: the Series?

And if you download Tremors: The Series from Amazon.com, good luck watching it on anything other than your PC. It's DRM'd up but good. I had to use NERO just to make backups.

Dammit! I want to watch Burt blowing away shriekers on my new HDTV! Where's my DVD set! Even the lame Blade TV series got a DVD release!

Okay, I digress. I should be remembering my favorite show with fondness, and be glad I can see it on download. I had to wait almost 20 years to see the Greatest American Hero and Land of the Lost on DVD.

Well, in remembering the 5th Anniversary of Perfection's continuing adventures on TV, I came across this great website, www.webarchive.org, that let's you see webpages as they used to be, all the way back to 1999. As most Tremors fans know, the Scifi Channel dropped Tremors' great website not long after the show was cancelled, and a lot of cool info was lost. But with webarchive, I can go back and see it again.

So, over the next two weeks, maybe all the way up to March 28th, I'm going to reprint the content from that old site for your viewing pleasure and to spark discussion on the show. Heck, I might even throw in the fanfiction script I did for Burt vs. the Gillmen- a photocartoon project I started in 2004 that never got finished.

Up tomorrow: The Scifi Site's Welcome Page text and a description of Graboids.